Stop Pretending You Enjoy
Updating WordPress
Monthly care for hand-coded sites. No page builders. No plugin bloat. Just a website that doesn’t break when you sneeze. (Or when your nephew “helps.”)
Change That One Word
Without Breaking Everything
Text tweaks, image swaps, new pages — done properly, not duct-taped together with plugins that’ll be obsolete by Tuesday.
- Unlimited small edits*
- New page creation
- Content updates within 48hrs
Sleep Like a Baby
(The Sleeping Kind)
Hand-rolled backups, security monitoring, and updates that don’t rely on some plugin developer who disappeared to Bali in 2019.
- Daily off-site backups
- Security monitoring
- SSL & uptime monitoring
Faster Than Your
Competitor’s Wix Site
Core Web Vitals that actually vital. Because Google judges your site speed, and so do your visitors — they just won’t tell you.
- Performance optimisation
- Image compression & CDN
- Monthly speed reports
Talk to Me,
Not a Chatbot
Actual responses from an actual human. No ticketing systems, no “your call is important to us” — just me, fixing your stuff.
- Direct email/Signal access
- 48hr response guarantee
- Monthly check-in call
“I don’t use page builders. I don’t install 47 plugins to do one job. I write the code, I know what every line does, and when something breaks, I fix it, not troubleshoot which plugin update caused the apocalypse.”— Me, every time someone asks why their Elementor site loads in 8 seconds
The “I Don’t Want to Think About It” Plan
Everything above. One price. No upsells. No “pro tier” nonsense.
- Unlimited* small edits
- Monthly performance report
- Priority support (actual human)
- No surprise invoices
- Hand-coded, zero bloat
*Within reason. Don’t be weird.
Keep My Site AliveWebsites That Don’t Look Like
Everyone Else’s Template
I build things properly. No page builders. No plugin bloat. Just clean code that loads fast, ranks well, and doesn’t break when you sneeze. (Or when your nephew “helps.”)
Launch Starter
For when you need something professional online before your competitor notices you don’t have one. Clean, quick, and not embarrassing.
- 3–5 pages
- Responsive design
- Contact form
- Basic SEO setup
- SSL certificate
- Two revision rounds
Business Launch
For small businesses that have outgrown their Facebook page and need to look like they mean it. More pages, more polish, more you.
- Up to 12 pages
- Blog setup
- Contact forms
- Basic SEO setup
- SSL certificate
- Two revision rounds
Online Store
For product-based businesses ready to take money while they sleep. WooCommerce, payments, shipping — the works, done properly.
- Up to 15 pages
- Up to 50 products
- WooCommerce setup
- Payment gateway
- Shipping config
- Two revision rounds
Bespoke Websites
No templates. No page builders. No 47 plugins doing one job badly. Just clean, hand-written code that loads fast, ranks well, and doesn’t break when you breathe on it.
- Discovery & consultation
- Custom design & functionality
- SEO-first structure
- Performance optimisation
- Scalability planning